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New Moms

Welcome to the world of mommyhood! You will never be the same person as you were pre-baby. Whether you adopt an infant or deliver one, you will go through this out-of-body experience that only moms can understand. You will see your mom and other moms in a different light. Having and raising a baby somehow teaches you what life is really about. Why you have to be nice to your neighbor. Why you have to say 'please' and 'thank you'. It's the missing piece of a life puzzle. Yes, that little baby. Amazing.

Now, I have to burst your bubble. I wish someone would have just really told me how the first three months were going to be...HORRIBLE. At least, I would have been better prepared mentally. You will not sleep. Sometimes I wondered in those zombie-like moments of sleep deprivation if this is what it felt like to be a POW. The baby seems to wake up every 1.5- 3 hours. That cry will shatter you to pieces (even now I have PTSD--post traumatic stress disorder-- whenever my son wakes up from a bad dream or loses his stuffed toy). Not to mention the worries. Is he sleeping? Is he breathing? Why did he make that noise? Then comes breast-feeding. Ha! NOT THAT EASY. I felt I wasn't giving my baby enough and that's why he kept waking up. God help me. You see these tribal women with babies that instantly latch on and our happy. As far as I'm concerned, they are higher in the evolutionary chain than us westerners. By the way, I had a good baby. Never really fussed, slept pretty good AFTER three months, and was pretty independent.

What I can tell you? It's OK to cry and cry. It's OK to feel frustrated and confused. Join the new mommy group at your hospital. Request a visit from the lactation consultant. Take all the help that you can. Who cares if you don't get along with your mother-in-law because she makes her "remarks". As long as she sacrifices her sleep to help you, ignore her passive-aggressive remarks. Milk it! I have noticed that some young moms are able to bounce back a little easier (I was 34 when I had my son). And those that seem to do it with absolute ease? I'm sorry they had help! Whether financially they could afford a night nurse, housekeeper, and/or nanny; or they had family helping them those first three months or longer, can only explain it.

It's just hard but we all make it. Seek help and don't deny help. What's that African proverb..."It takes a village to raise a child". So very true.